Don't turn towards the child and shift the pressure with

Don't turn towards the child and shift the pressure with the love
It is reported ' Reporter Jiang Peng) What lack most is not parents to the child's love in the modern family, but parents going all out to the child. Many parents transfer all surplus mental capacity that pay close attention to the fact and accumulate because one's own body and mind is unhealthy to one's own life to child, have brought heavy psychological burden to child.

2008 children that hold recently develop with the moral education forum, the psychological consultation of normal university of Shanghai and developing Li ZhengYun, person in charge of centre, to propose, parents should be paid close attention to more by oneself.

The child cares about apocleisis edge by oneself excessively

According to straight introduction, Dr. of cloud, Li, have persons of parents of girl come on to her consulting apositia of child once, but dredge the result to find in psychology, the reason which cause girl's nerve apocleisis, it is after her father goes to Britain to work, mother cares about her kindly; After being sent to Britain and studied, father incomparable to her too cares about, but own relations of parents are not harmonious, that this girl has born the spiritual pressure from parents of both sides. Besides this, many teenagers' human communication obstacle, network reliance disease,etc., reasons are all that parents overly care about the child, namely" parent-offspring's relation is pestered and is short of separating with the parent-offspring excessively " ,The result has led to the fact it is not good enough that teenagers' individual splits up.

According to relevant data, 70% of the above families with child now, the life center at ordinary times is children. Li ZhengYun claims, according to angle that children grew up healthy and sound in all respects, parents and relation between the children are going all out gradually with the years, but in actual life, parents do not increase easier to free with age to the child exactly.

Embarrassed heavy pressure of raising people

Relevant expert find many parents understand, look after kindly the child love often after the investigation. To some degree, this often raise people because of one's own psychological problem or spiritual pressure, and put parent-offspring's relation above family relationship and working,etc..

Parents coming to seek the child of psychological consultation, there are many one's own tense conjugal relations, whether or the job market deals with pressure ability weaker, and then through transferring attention to child.

The investigation still finds, there are very great relations in the looking after the way of children's degree of dependence and mother to mother. If one is easy to get along and have cooperative mother, the child's reliance to mother is that the normal security type is had a sentimental attachment for, and if is a mother cold refusing to the child, or to mother which the child will totally dominate, flagrantly interfere, child's attachment to mother is abnormal too.

The ones that give to the child " Love " Should desalinize

Each family has one's own lifespan, the family with children should be with children's growth, give but flexible home environment to children, especially the child enters teenagers period, the child and relation of the family should be to pass in and out family's system freely, this is Li ZhengYun's suggestion. She claims, most families need parents to pay close attention to one's own life even more now, desalinize the excessive concern about the child, especially should pay close attention to one's own career and marriage even more after the parents people in middle age. According to lifespan of the family, a new family begins the lifespan of this family after setting up, until the child was born, at this moment, the family began to accept the child becomes break-in of new members, as the child grows up gradually, parents' concern about the child should reduce gradually, at this moment, should increase the elasticity of the family relationship, it is old and feeble day by day in order to hold the child's independence and grand parents day by day.

But as the child enters adolescence gradually, should " replace parent-offspring's relation " ,Begin to pay close attention to middle age's marriage and undertaking again, begin to consider looking after the older generation, unalterable parent-offspring's relation, more advantages than disadvantages of growing up of body and mind to the child.

Don't turn towards the child and shift the pressure with the love