The woman 32 years old suffers from " Adult's

The woman 32 years old suffers from " Adult's infantilism " The sexual life is explained to parents
"If you can't want, if you can't want, grow up,spend world after growing up,want not wanting to grow up, I would rather be forever stupid and silly "In modern city, more and more psychology of adult look like on the the song of " I want, grow up " describing, refuse to grow up, always think that " it is soft to hold " . The psychological expert says, this is actually that one kind is commonly called as " adult's infantilism " Psychological for obstacle,belong to " Peter Pan is syndromic " Plant.

Feel hard to pay a piece of charges for water and electricity too

Tinkling of pieces of jade of 32 -year-old A (assumed name) It is mother of a child three years old, but she still looks like a child, always think that does not grow up by oneself.

As to the thing of the family, unwilling to do, and think too that has no ability to do oneself, like paying these things of the charges for water and electricity, she feels very tired. Have one busy husband, let she instead of go, participate in one wedding banquet, A tinkling of pieces of jade think oneself to be unable to communicate with others right away, reach scene know what should be spoken, should do anything, meet bride and bridegroom, hand over the covert payment reluctantly go finally, either, the wedding banquet still flees in panic without beginning.

Marry 78 year, A tinkling of pieces of jade run her parent's home easily, the big and small thing wants and one's own Papa and Mama pour out, discuss. Family plan tomorrow what vegetables does it buy and what meal does it make, oneself participate in anything in unit, she wants to ask to Papa and Mama for instructions and report these trifling life minor matters, after the ones that get parents instruct detailedly, she gets back to one's own home comfortably.

Think the child is burdensome

An inconceivable one is, except these trifle things, she ask for instructions and report to parents having no reserve at all in even personal secrets among couple's life, unexpectedly she passes couple detailed conditions and parents of the sexual life to explain. Once until having, her father inquires her husband with ambiguous words, husband of her know A tinkling of pieces of jade speak thing of personal secrets these with parents unexpectedly. For this reason, the husband is very angry, " cold war " continuously One of more than months,though later become reconciled, cracks emotional is getting more unable to remedy already.

A tinkling of pieces of jade work as Mr. is in a conscientious and down-to-earth manner at work, over these years in one middle school, there are not any mistakes, but feel depressing psychologically, think the work more hard, one's own unable commitments. With the one that correspond to at work, in life she feels worn out mentally and physically too, after the child was born in, she is not overjoyed, think instead the child, to her, one is burdensome.

It is one kind of diseases to refuse to grow up originally

Such a tired feeling sustain recently, this let the intersection of A and tinkling of pieces of jade feel more and more painful. All the different kinds having no choice, A tinkling of pieces of jade come the intersection of Nanjing and the intersection of brain and the intersection of department and hospital go to a doctor, hopes the psychological expert can help her to go out of the mire of the agony.

Nanjing the intersection of brain and the intersection of department and the intersection of hospital and medical Chen Jianguo, associate professor of treatment of psychology dept., say such situation, tinkling of pieces of jade of A, a personality obstacle, commonly called as " Adult's infantilism " ,Belong to " Peter Pan's syndrome " Plant. Causing the tinkling of pieces of jade presents the such one " Worry " ,Have great relation with the intersection of she and living environment while as a child, from childhood, A tinkling of pieces of jade live a life in the environment that parents dominate, things of various fields of work, life, for A the tinkling of pieces of jade has been considered parents, come down for a long time, A tinkling of pieces of jade position child one's own role under the intersection of parents and assistant, and unwilling to grow more up, have lost the judgment.

Adult's infantilism is not rare

It is reported, it refuses examples that grows up to be like this as the intersection of A and tinkling of pieces of jade. Big 29 -year-old just (assumed name) It is a project manager of an advertising agency, but unexpectedly on his notebook computer stick Crayon Shin-chan, exceptional pictures on the wall, even wear the clothes " Children " Obvious, often wear Disney's T shirt; 26 -year-old Xiao Lin often wears baby's head of baby's installing, comb, the foot steps on the flat heel of the bandage, carrying the cartoon with Philippine cat to wrap up, the behavior is still a child.

The expert introduces, " adult's infantilism " This kind of psychological obstacle, men and women all have, does not have obvious difference, this is closely related to family's educational environment. For example, parents meet demands of child excessively, neglect its responsibility that should be born; In addition, the party in parents can't be satisfied and consolation in the marriage relation, if father is outside for a long time, mother feels lonely and hollow, form the excessively close relation with the child, in this case, mother will need one to fail to grow up, will not leave her child forever, the child has accepted this kind of role unconsciously. Finally, because missed separating, growing into the key period of the independent individual with parents, even if parents discover the problems, want to put out the child in the door to push to the society, it is often too late.

Many young people now, the great majority are only-children, care at home while as a child. Some even 10 more than years old, sleep with parents still, and parents the great majority are advantages even. Though got married, has not always weaned psychologically, weak wings would not hover. Because they refuse to grow up, a lot of marriage questions have appeared, their sense of duty is bad, dependence is strong, weak in mind, indecisive, regard oneself as the centre, not grand enough, etc. Not only burdensome family's responsibility of this, make them not handle the marriage contradiction yet.

" treatment of tracking back " Help her to grow up

"Because this kind of psychological obstacle and their educational environment of family as a child had close relations, so we proceed with origin. " Chen Jianguo say in the intersection of A and heart of tinkling of pieces of jade, bury one fear, when the intersection of she and Forth Five-Year Plan Period years old, having once broken a toy of the family, my father reprimands her very angrily, up to now, A tinkling of pieces of jade also can remember that piece make the intersection of she and terrific scene clear. "Since then, A tinkling of pieces of jade right away more and more obedient to parents, add the intersection of parents and extraordinary advantage, A tinkling of pieces of jade become relying on to parents more and more just. "

Psychotherapy start with from this scene as a child, tinkling of pieces of jade of A, just, the psychological expert used " treatment of tracking back " ,In the course of treating, let the intersection of A and tinkling of pieces of jade imagine oneself getting back to four at the age of five, break a toy, A tinkling of pieces of jade when imagining, express, fear to abuse father very much by oneself, at this moment, psychological expert dredge the intersection of A and tinkling of pieces of jade, my father it abuses shes to be bad to her, angry to thing her do, A tinkling of pieces of jade should tell my father one's own idea, in this way feeling of the tinkling of pieces of jade that father could know A.

A tinkling of pieces of jade accept psychotherapy every two weeks just, often through this kind of " treatment of tracking back " ,Some should express the intersection of oneself and judgment but reappear, come out scene that parents dominate finally from childhood oneself, then make another choice, express one's own judgment by oneself. Come down for half years in succession, A tinkling of pieces of jade begins to be become strong-mindedly.

The expert says, " adult's infantilism " The interpersonal relationships to the patient exert a great influence, this kind of disease is difficult to cure with the medicine, the only method is to accept the psychotherapy. As the saying goes " Rivers and mountains can be changed,but it is hard to alter a person's character " ,Habits and customs and outlook on life formed for many years can change by the preach only, should be treated specialized long-term intervention by the psychological expert, force, they, in the face of reality, it must be painful at the very beginning, but the situation will be better and better. (modern bulletin reporter Zhang Xing)

Peter Pan's syndrome

The naivety for acting, refusing to grow up, " Think that acts the child and refuses to act parents forever " Person,call it as too psychologist, " whether Peter Pan is syndromic " . Peter Pan is the fairy tale personages in the works of Scottish writer James and Barry, it is fantasy to live " There is not a township forever " In, do not want to grow up forever. Although this kind of people has already entered to grow up, also kept a lot of children's characteristic psychologically: They like playing, changeable in mood, wilful, it is difficult to restrain oneself; In life, relatively rely on others; As to adult's responsibility such as work and family, they often take the attitude of escaping, if frequently change the work, unwilling to get married slowly, unwilling to become parents; They still demonstrate some characteristics of regarding oneself as the centre, will not care about others voluntarily, but is regarded as others naturally to one's own care.

The woman 32 years old suffers from " Adult's infantilism " The sexual life is explained to parents