50 adults are unwilling to grow up

50 adults are unwilling to grow up
The psychological post-doctor of research institute of the People's University of China is yellow and towering

A few days ago, the psychology of teenagers in Beijing and Zong ChunShan, director of law referral centre, said, according to materials grasped, psychology of the adults of about 50% has not grown up. International health organization (WHO) Accord with its age characteristics on emphasizing in the psychological health standard put forward, the healthy person displays in psychological condition and behavior. In other words, people's mental age should keep unanimity with physiological age; It implies the existence of some problems that excessively inmature or arrogant on account of one's seniority psychologically.
The typical example is, collegegirl and young white collar wear baby's head of baby's installing, comb popularly, drink water with the feeding bottle for a time. This kind of behavior of falling back towards infancy, is suggesting refusing to grow up. And more extreme example is, a girl committed suicide in U.S.A. not long ago, it is reported she was reading the third doctorate at that time; Women almost 30 to one, can't really move towards the society, the ones that show it in psychology are immature too.

The naivety for acting, refusing to grow up, " Think that acts the child and refuses to act parents forever " Person,psychologist call it as "Peter Pan syndrome " . Peter Pan is the fairy tale personages in the works of Scottish writer James and Barry, it is fantasy to live " There is not a township forever " In, do not want to grow up forever. Although this kind of people has already entered to grow up, also kept a lot of children's characteristic psychologically: They like playing, changeable in mood, wilful, it is difficult to restrain oneself; In life, relatively rely on others; As to adult's responsibility such as work and family, they often take the attitude of escaping, if frequently change the work, unwilling to get married slowly, unwilling to become parents; They still demonstrate some characteristics of regarding oneself as the centre, will not care about others voluntarily, but is regarded as others naturally to one's own care.

The reason which cause Peter Pan's syndrome is closely related to family's educational environment. For example, parents meet demands of child excessively, neglect its responsibility that should be born; In addition, the party in parents can't be satisfied and consolation in the marriage relation, if father is outside for a long time, mother feels lonely and hollow, form the excessively close relation with the child, in this case, mother will need one to fail to grow up, will not leave her child forever, the child has accepted this kind of role unconsciously. Finally, because missed separating, growing into the key period of the independent individual with parents, even if parents discover the problems, want to put out the child in the door to push to the society, it is often too late.

Such respects as the unripe influence brought of the psychology will involve the interpersonal relationships, intimate relation and work; As encountering setback and life when being less than satisfactory, they may also indulge in alcohol and medicine. The best method is to face oneself as soon as possible, face reality. Hertzs of Wister, psychologist of American, enumerate appear 10 standards of psychological maturity, this is too that Peter Pan want to really go out of the fairy tale, come into goals reached in life. Get rid of Peter Pan's syndrome, face reality at first, bear the consequence for one's own choice and behavior, accept the limitation of life, go out of relying on, wait for and the psychological trap of illusion, strengthen decision ability and action ability.

It is chained that relevant

American psychologist is one hertz of Wister's proposition

Ten standards of psychological maturity

1.Can establish harmonious interpersonal relationships with the peer in daily life. This kind of relation should include same sex friend and opposite sex friend.

2.Can act the appropriate gender role on the behavior.

3.Admit one's own body and appearance. Neither show off one's own advantage cover up one's own shortcoming excessively excessively, nor.

4.Mood expresses the ripe independence gradually. Support and protection no longer relying on parents or other adults in thing.

5.There is confidence with independent economy.

6.Can choose, suit the intersection of oneself and ability and job of interest, and willing to rouse oneself hard.

7.Consider being chosen the marriage target conscientiously, and plan to get married and live the independent family life.

8.Can reach a modern citizen's standard in different fields such as the knowledge, idea,etc..

9.Glad to participate in social activities, can be responsible for one's own behavior too.

10.On the personal behavioral direction, can set up one's own value moral standard.


50 adults are unwilling to grow up